“Oh, I’m so nervous. If I’m not funny, I won’t be able to live with myself.”

“Well then, you’ll have to get another apartment, won’t you?”

“Oh, Mr. Kermit! Beaker and I have invented the most important party technology since free-stye, Eurobeat, dance music!”

“[Beaker’s] just used Muppet Labs’ new Anti-Poison Ivy Cream. It makes you break out in spots and itch like the Dickens, but at least you don’t get poison ivy!”

“We call this our Deadly Alarm Clock.”

“I see, and how does that work?”

“Well, we put it in a great, big slingshot and fire it point-blank at somebody’s head. It really hurts.”

“If it weren’t for Mr. Kermit, there would be no Muppet Labs, and I would merely be another good-looking Ph. D on the prowl. Sorry ladies; your loss, science’s gain.”

“I spy with my little eye, something beginning with the Greek symbol Epsilon!”